THE HOME CHORE … ISN’T MUCH OF A LOAD WHEN YOU SHARE IT !!!

I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at BlogAdda.com in association withAriel.

A one year old baby girl dancing to the tunes of Kumar Sanu, while father records the talent show just to let the working mother know that her little one is doing fine and she shouldn’t worry for the household to go into a frenzy mode when she isn’t around… mother returns to a clean home and is greeted with warm smiles, hot food and little dancing diva on the television…

Now, isn’t the scenario symbolizing love, understanding and happiness! Well, let it be out now that this is a real life example of my life. And no, I am not the mother but the dancing baby who is now twenty five and so proud of her working parents who continue to unintentionally set a wonderful example for ‘Sharing the Load’….since 1990!! And trust me; the load has been physically, emotionally and financially demanding at times. But by sharing the lousiest as well as the easiest of loads, both the man and woman have strengthened the understanding and love for each other…!! (Well… verbally confronting such feelings to people may be a task for my parents as they are a shy breed… but try to find the cute factor when the two can’t talk romance!!)

So what is sharing the load??… Sharing responsibilities among men and women in a household isn’t a new age fad that requires a diploma to comprehend but it is more about nurturing the love and respect among members of a home.

It isn’t about set division of duties that makes a house operate but it is more about involving oneself to a relationship that builds and functions a home.

Furthermore, following the orthodox societal norms of fixating the women as homemakers and men as bread earners isn’t ‘sharing the load’ either but it is about voluntarily choosing to adopt roles in a household by mutually understanding and acknowledging the needs of one another….!!

For some, the concept of sharing responsibilities in a household may seem directed towards a middle income family or a home with working couple or say a home with no household helper (what many may refer to as maids, bai, bhaiya, dada, mama or maushii). But even in the most luxurious of lifestyles, sharing the load has its place since it is not only about finishing materialistic tasks like doing laundry or dusting the furniture but it is about strengthening relationships where the man and woman involve themselves in making household decisions and more importantly… committing time and contributing to such matters.

Now, some may have certain objections, excuses or scientific theories to disapprove the importance of ‘sharing the load’! Let this post list out some common instances;

‘My wife enjoys taking care of the house independently. She doesn’t like my interference. So I don’t participate in the chores and allow her to become independent. Aren’t I a supportive partner?’

Some may argue along similar lines that one is considered strong when he/ she works as an independent homemaker. But in the matters of family and its home, working independently and working alone do not necessarily mean the same every time. On one hand, where independent action can result in boosting the confidence and self esteem levels whereas on the other; working alone can be stressful, exhausting and depressing especially when there is no one to rely on even when there are other members in the household. It is only when everyone works together that the common goals and happiness can be realized. So even if one believes the other to enjoy ‘independent functioning’; correct yourself and ‘Share The Load’ by attendance… assistance… appreciation!

Let’s move on to a popular one now.

‘I just don’t know how to do all these chores. Women are anyway better in all the household worship. So I get the money to run everything while she takes care of the house and family.’

Many may assert that women are better when it comes to cooking, cleaning and caring… or that men do not have the innate ability to perform such tasks and they are much better in spurting money. Or some may even proclaim that women are best at being the emotional anchors whereas men are best as sturdy support systems. Well, these cannot be fully ignored as the society is built in such a way that both men and women have grown up to endorse such mindsets. Not going much into the social history; even if there is any truth to these statements, is it logical to pile on the load of household roles to a particular sex. Absolutely not! Just as women are encouraged to involve themselves in paid employment; men should be prompted to engage themselves in the chores… and that too since a young age. There isn’t anything feminine or disrespectful in utilizing the free time to maintain your own home. If anything, it is being responsible for your belongings and relationships. Now, this is logical. After all, the resume attributes of ‘having a drive to learn, enjoy new experiences, enthusiastic, team worker’ doesn’t go away when one is at home… do they?

And finally let’s head to the most typical excuse.

‘I don’t have the time for all this. And I just want to relax on the weekends.’

A popularly known thought ‘It’s all in the mind’ should serve as an apt reply to such statements. It is all about how one pictures household chores to be. It can be enjoyable if it is done with your partner, kids and family. Now, how can one make chores enjoyable? What does one get in the end? … Perhaps the examples below give you an insight!

  • Put Up Your Own Song On The Player Which Goes Something Like

    ‘With your Wipes… and your Broom… Burn the Calories… and get your Tidy Room!! Woop Woop !’ 

    (Wake Up The Artist In Yourself…..and Come Up With Better Lyrics Of Course!)

    Wouldn’t it be amazing to multitask the chores and exercise; which as a result gives you a fab body, amazing flexibility and a spotless house?… It surely would, right! So the next time, when you have some flab on you and filth on the home floors, forget the gym and running shoes…Switch on your mopping song, wipe, clean, sway, make this chore your workout and enjoy like never before…!!

  • Clean Clothes, Ariel Matic Fragrance, Him and Her… It’s The Time To Romance!!

    ‘Laundry Time Darling! Plenty Time To Catch Up…!’

    In today’s fast paced and busy world, there is little time to talk love. Well; if the time issues are for you too, don’t just sit up and ponder! Create situations for yourself. #ShareTheLoad by sharing the laundry time with your partner… This may be the cleanest and freshest atmosphere you have ever hoped for!

  • The Dish Time… My Family Time!!

‘Our family enjoys the dish time as we do it together. Daughter lays the dishes, I cut the vegetables to go in those dishes, the wife cooks and serves in it while the son cleans them up. This is our family time or what we call …the dish time!’ 

So what if one doesn’t understand cooking or cutting vegetables. One can #ShareTheLoad by assisting in chores he/ she is capable of learning and eventually doing.  It isn’t much of a rocket science… after all! By adopting such practices, not only will the family get some quality time but the kids would observe and learn the positives of ‘sharing the load’!

The examples above surely makes the benefits stronger than the negatives (if at all there are any) ….right? And if we really look into the concept… engaging in chores isn’t like another tedious job when you share and do it together… is it?

However; if one person is solely responsible for home chores for all the three hundred and sixty five days of every year, the stress alert will eventually shoot up. We all know that even a machine breaks down after repeated action over time and it needs external support to re-function. However sometimes, only with a slight twist of the screws… the machine starts working.

Similarly; ‘sharing the load’ is basically ‘twisting our screws’ to understand that every member of the household must participate in home chores as per their respective strengths, weaknesses and needs. One cannot just stand up some day to announce all the men of a family to be responsible for cooking in their homes. That may lead to an utter disaster and rampant diarrhea. An example of sharing the load could be when a husband doesn’t know the ABC of cooking but helps the wife in buying vegetables, laying down the table, serving or cleaning. Similarly, if a wife can’t fix the broken television wires, she can help the husband by calling the electrician to fix the same right away.  Discuss and realize who is good with walking the pet, teaching kids, rearranging closet, watering plants, washing clothes, moving furniture, mopping…. and the list is endless! Imagine an endless list of duties thrown on a single member of the household. No wonder, Ariel is making sure that it’s #ShareTheLoad campaigns reach every household!!

So, running a household involves a team work from it’s members, irrespective of sexes. It isn’t a moral right of just the women in all households to be responsible for all home chores. Anyone who calls the house his/ her home is accountable for the same. Once you commit to  #ShareTheLoad; notice the love, respect and trust blooming for you in your partner’s and family’s hearts.

And now, after all the moral talk…just one question… How are you sharing the load in your house…?

CARTOONS, WOMEN AND SOCIAL ACTION…. AN UNDERRATED AMALGAM !!

Who would have thought the cartoons to be inspirational for some… not me certainly..!! But there are a few gems in our society who are developing a new genre of humor …which not only produces a chuckle from all of us but it also manages to give an introspection to everyone in the same society. What we were…. what we are… where are we heading…. the answers to such deep questions can be easily realized with a few or even one cartoon… for instance, the cartoons below do not require any context…. self explanatory and sufficient enough for us to judge the evolutionary curve of communication!

Often the work of social awareness and health promotion involves realization of reality which can be daunting to many. We can never let go of the ethical rules and we always have to keep our empathetic as well as practical personalities on the fore front. But being a social researcher, I have realized that people like the activists to be easy going and comforting and the social conversations to not be overly intense. If we have to be practical with our approaches which is comforting as well; the tone of our actions becomes restricted… and so, one of these ways is fostering realization with humor..!!

Speaking of cartoons and social action, the minds rarely pop up with women creators. It may be because majority of the animators, cartoonists and graphic designers are men. What could be the reasons for this majority… well perhaps would ponder upon this in the next blogs… but for now, I would just like to acknowledge some of the wonderful work done by a New York based female cartoonist, Liza Donnelly. She has set an example for many women who firstly never realized this field to be apt for their professional interests or even if the women did, majority never really touched upon the funny bone in their creations. Well, its not too late. Perhaps the Liza Donnelly video below may inspire some women and also the men (well there are jokes!!) to rekindle their romance with humor..!

So there were two things, this post was aimed at… in case you were lost!

Firstly, wake up to the needs and benefits of humor in social action and secondly, Blabbering around ‘Women..the Victim’ or ‘Women… the serious sex’ isn’t always necessary. In fact, we should completely rubbish these notions. Instead, establish ‘attractive humorous women’ in the world…Now won’t that be great..!!!

Leaving you with some of Liza Donnelly’s work..!!

Diverse Ways of Employing Power: Indian Woman

TEARA 90

Its been long debated… often a one sided extempore which favor the violated, discriminated and helpless faces of Indian Woman. Being a Indian Woman myself, I believe there are plethora of shades in us just like an Indian Man. Who said the Indian Woman is defined by universal tags? Who advocated the societal rule of accepting Indian Woman as either the white or the black? We have grey among us….we aren’t different from the rest but the diversity lies within us….within the Indian Women..!!!

Be it any human, every one has a sense of power. Metamorphosis of power, however, may be different for different beings. What could be the common translations of power in Indian Woman…. Are they possibly identical to Women everywhere in the world?

1. The One Who Leads

2. The One Who Dominates

3. The One Who Mobilizes

4. The One Who Manipulates

5. The One Who…

View original post 35 more words

Whats Wrong With the World.. A Monkey Knows It Better..!!!

TEARA 90

The lives of many can be assumed to be following a set route. One starts with realizing your senses, using these senses to build your dreams, paddling away the rest of the lives to surpass these goal dreams and ending with crawls in the direction to build new checkpoint dreams. This journey has its fare share of marsh lands, speed breakers, pits and highways but ultimately its the sensibilities of the driver which decides the map to follow.

The lives of some; for our ignorance, and many; for our acceptance, are instructed to follow a set route. Their senses are conditioned, dreams are defined and the paddling which induces that stinging pain in one’s arms, are involved in such journeys. There isn’t a land to support you but the speed breakers hurt your soul’s back bone. The entire journey is in a pit and the highway is too high up…

View original post 219 more words

Another Hole in the Pot – Sonagachi, India (Born Into Brothels 2004)

TEARA 90

This credible piece created by Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman is an eye opener and could serve as the same for many like me. Sonagachi, one of the largest red light areas of the world has been constantly dumped under the carpet along with the problems of its women and children. It can be noted though that education is made available along with other facilities for sustaining life. But the problem lies in the fact that all of these facilities have not been ensured or are not advocated as mandatory for all the citizens in the area. Additionally, with the painful bureaucracy run in order to avail these facilities, the worth of the so called ‘social action’ remains questionable.

This documentary was shot in 2004 but can we believe that the situation has completely taken a turn for the better. It may have improved a notch or gone a step…

View original post 10 more words

How Children in Gaza Visualize Their Future : Pictures from UNICEF

TEARA 90

6-year old Yosef Al Yazir, seated on the arm of a chair in the living room of his home in Gaza City’s Ramal neighbourhood, holds a drawing showing his view of Gaza in the future. He remembers the last war, but states that this one is much worse: “There are a lot of children killed,” he said. (Image credits: Aya © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1443/d’Aki)

14-year old Kasem Alqerem, his shadow reflected on a wall behind him, holds his drawing showing his view of Gaza in the future at the school shelter in Gaza City. (Image credits: Doaa © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1444/d’Akii)

9-year old Doaa, seated on a chair in a classroom in the school shelter in Gaza City, holds her drawing showing her view of Gaza in the future. The drawing shows a bright, smiling sun in a blue sky; butterflies, birds and trees; and figures standing outside a house. (Image credits: Kasem ©…

View original post 123 more words

Diverse Ways of Employing Power: Indian Woman

Its been long debated… often a one sided extempore which favor the violated, discriminated and helpless faces of Indian Woman. Being a Indian Woman myself, I believe there are plethora of shades in us just like an Indian Man. Who said the Indian Woman is defined by universal tags? Who advocated the societal rule of accepting Indian Woman as either the white or the black? We have grey among us….we aren’t different from the rest but the diversity lies within us….within the Indian Women..!!!

Be it any human, every one has a sense of power. Metamorphosis of power, however, may be different for different beings. What could be the common translations of power in Indian Woman…. Are they possibly identical to Women everywhere in the world?

1. The One Who Leads

2. The One Who Dominates

3. The One Who Mobilizes

4. The One Who Manipulates

5. The One Who Supports

6. The One Who Subverts

7. The One Who Conforms

8. The One Who Reforms

And these are just a few grains from the ‘Power’ pot..!!!…. Many More to Explore…Many More to Comprehend !!!

Whats Wrong With the World.. A Monkey Knows It Better..!!!

The lives of many can be assumed to be following a set route. One starts with realizing your senses, using these senses to build your dreams, paddling away the rest of the lives to surpass these goal dreams and ending with crawls in the direction to build new checkpoint dreams. This journey has its fare share of marsh lands, speed breakers, pits and highways but ultimately its the sensibilities of the driver which decides the map to follow.

The lives of some; for our ignorance, and many; for our acceptance, are instructed to follow a set route. Their senses are conditioned, dreams are defined and the paddling which induces that stinging pain in one’s arms, are involved in such journeys. There isn’t a land to support you but the speed breakers hurt your soul’s back bone. The entire journey is in a pit and the highway is too high up to reach alone. However, the driver has the control to proceed and face whatever that may lie ahead. To be precise, the driver shows off his robotic training perfectly.

The picture brings a sense of shock….grim…. anger and hatred towards everyone who is holding the leash. Man is said to have evolved to adapt to new environments and learn the ways to control their life journeys. But many believe the need to crush at least one evolutionary element of the world in order to move ahead. The one receiving the brunt of this crush is often the living which is still vulnerable… Be it a child, animal, or any other minority for that matter. The people; around the leash holder and innocent trapped within the chains; either walk pass and ignore, or,  enjoy and throw in a quarter. Very few drivers in this category of people, get off their vehicles and help other riders in converting their journeys from controlled and agonizing to free and peaceful.

If a monkey like the one in the picture can trigger the feelings of angst among some of us…… if a monkey can give us a reality check of the suppressed…if a monkey can show us what’s wrong with the world… do we as free riders have no power to make things correct…!!

<a href=" Visit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs“> Visit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs

How Children in Gaza Visualize Their Future : Pictures from UNICEF

6-year old Yosef Al Yazir, seated on the arm of a chair in the living room of his home in Gaza City’s Ramal neighbourhood, holds a drawing showing his view of Gaza in the future. He remembers the last war, but states that this one is much worse: “There are a lot of children killed,” he said. (Image credits: Aya © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1443/d’Aki)
14-year old Kasem Alqerem, his shadow reflected on a wall behind him, holds his drawing showing his view of Gaza in the future at the school shelter in Gaza City. (Image credits: Doaa © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1444/d’Akii)
9-year old Doaa, seated on a chair in a classroom in the school shelter in Gaza City, holds her drawing showing her view of Gaza in the future. The drawing shows a bright, smiling sun in a blue sky; butterflies, birds and trees; and figures standing outside a house. (Image credits: Kasem © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1442/d’Aki)
10-year old Shahed Dhabba, her right eye bandaged, holds a drawing in the school shelter in Gaza City. The drawing, which was supposed to show her view of Gaza in the future, also includes what she witnessed when her family fled their home in Gaza’s Shishya neighbourhood. (Image credits: Shahed © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1441/d’Aki)
11-year old Aya Abu Asi, standing by a blackboard in the school shelter in Gaza City, holds her drawing showing her view of Gaza in the future. Aya’s home was destroyed during heavy bombardment in Gaza’s Shishya neighbourhood. The worst thing about war, Aya says, is “the people who got killed in the street.” (Yosef © UNICEF/NYHQ2014-1440/d’Aki)

Pains to see that none of the kids in the pictures are smiling… !!

Another Hole in the Pot – Sonagachi, India (Born Into Brothels 2004)

This credible piece created by Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman is an eye opener and could serve as the same for many like me. Sonagachi, one of the largest red light areas of the world has been constantly dumped under the carpet along with the problems of its women and children. It can be noted though that education is made available along with other facilities for sustaining life. But the problem lies in the fact that all of these facilities have not been ensured or are not advocated as mandatory for all the citizens in the area. Additionally, with the painful bureaucracy run in order to avail these facilities, the worth of the so called ‘social action’ remains questionable.

This documentary was shot in 2004 but can we believe that the situation has completely taken a turn for the better. It may have improved a notch or gone a step back. Who is checking? Who is evaluating? Who is helping?