DISSECTING THE STRESSED HEADS… !!! THE ‘MAI BOHOT PARESHAN HOON SYNDROME’

So I am following the HOP philosophy these days as I juggle the stress of working on multiple ventures. When I was HOPPING today, I realized that….wait a minute..HOP philosophy?…Don’t you know it?………  Come on !!………   Everybody is going gaga over it these days..

And yes by everybody I mean me and my fictional readers of course..!! ….. Oh, Well since only a few may be unaware, let me just highlight here that HOP is what I figured out in one of my last posts… However I must warn the readers that it may be the most boring, ridiculous and stupidomax read but if you really want to, here is the link.

So if anyone took the better decision to ignore the link; in just one line, HOP is a behavioral technique which fosters the ability to independently reduce the stress levels by activating Hope, Optimism and Positivism within.

Let me now begin the post again by mentioning that I am really high on HOP and preach it wherever possible. But since I assume that I am human, currently I can say that the stress is shooting up and therefore sometimes the transformation from Captain America to The Hulk does happen….can’t deny that…!! But do not worry; as I write, I can say the Hulk is gradually getting calmer.

I have realized, the last few blogs have been very smiling and saintly as if I am a motivational guru wearing a white saree with chandan on my forehead and both my palms in the trademark ‘aashirwaad’ position. So this post, I am going to make you cry, moody, angry and sad!!….

KIDDING…. ! The last sentence needs a few more words…!!! Again, This post, I am going to list down the things that make you cry, moody, angry and sad when you are already stressed….hopefully with a dash of sarcasm!! So here it goes….

Remember the time when you were preoccupied with your own stress and the following happens:

1. WEDDING AND SOCIAL GATHERINGS

Imagine an exam stress; and the tension of either the preparation or results is so astronomical that one may experience severe mood swings. Then in all that, one is forced or emotionally blackmailed to leave the comfort of their home and pajamas to attend, what the Indians refer to as ‘function me jana hai’ (have to attend a function). And then the meet and greet starts…Now if you are stressed, the only hope of relief could be through a good conversation with say someone close to Salman Khan and sorts but all one gets is Uncle Aunty and the kids. Personally, I am not a fan of small talk but most of the time I just follow the social protocol and carry on with the highly interesting conversations (duh!) which is dominated by such dialogues

What do you do?

Hypocrite answer – I am working as the blah with blah organization.

Non Verbal Real Answer out of stress – Why do you care? We aren’t meeting again.

How is the weather where you come from?

Hypocrite answer – Oh its nice sunny/ cool/ rainy. How is it where you come from?

Non Verbal Real Answer out of stress – The annual weather changes are the same everywhere. Clearly there is nothing better to talk.

We should plan up to meet some time!

Hypocrite Answer– Absolutely can’t wait to see you again.

Non Verbal Real Answer out of stress – Bye!

(I am sure there must be more… share if you have got some!)

Socializing with friends can still be a little better provided you actually care about the people involved… honest eh !! But beware, the mood swings may become hopelessly visible to those who care and to those you care for.

2. THE SYMPATHY CARD

This can be a real Hulk-Converter. When one is already stressed and then a person brushes off his/ her comforting skills on you; but, instead of relieving your tension, you feel like pasting a ‘Do not talk’ sign on his mouth. For example, in such cases, one may have come across these soothing utterances (well!)….

‘Oh no!… what has happened…this is so bad..isn’t?’

(Really..you want to question the terrible state of my stress….Of course it’s bad… Why else would I point the gun at you!)

‘What are you saying…Tell me in detail!’

(Yes, now is the best time for a monologue. Board with me on the time machine…lets relive the stressful past together!)

‘How are you feeling?..I know i was so depressed when i had a similar time..I wanted to kill myself.’

(So you are suggesting me to shoot up the levels of depression to the point I commit suicide…. Hmm you should have been a counselor.)

‘I knew this wasn’t the right way. Don’t worry. Try something else. Every dog has its day.’

(Thank you for reminding me that I was wrong and sorry for biting your leg!  woof woof!)

3. NO FOOD

Stress eating is so common. It is scientifically proven by many that food relieves stress but then there are times when the fridge and cabinets have nothing more than milk, dal or biscuits and all you want are some chocolates, pizzas and ice creams!!!! Yes, the waist line is increasing but when has anyone come across a size zero hulk!

4. NO ALCOHOL

Stress drinking is not a secret either. Not much of a drinker myself and like I mentioned earlier, I go hulk in stress…but I am aware of some who belly up in anxiety! However, a drink at every time of stress isn’t always possible…! For example, when you come home late after a hard day and open the bar cabinet, an empty bottle may feel like the end of the world. Even worse; one may start crying, if at that point, somebody offers you a ‘shikanji’ (lemonade), ‘jaljeera’ or the most healthy and preposterous …a glass of milk can be enough to shoot your guilt pangs through the roof. Why is it so difficult for others to comprehend that too much stress requires alcohol to feel all the more unruly, stroppy, nauseous and unpleasant. People eh!!

5. NO INTERNET/ NO BATTERY

One has finally the time to relax a bit during stressful times and how does the majority do that?…Watch movies, videos, play games, music….. basically things which are dependent on chargers and batteries..!! However, these poor non living things do not have the power to understand human emotions and thus sometimes, unfortunately, if these do not work, the phones, laptops, remotes..all have to hit the edge of the wall or floor!! This hard-hitting event (pun intended) is followed by the guilt which takes over in just a few seconds and if the event has caused an expensive model to turn into a cheap corpse….Well, then it’s the time to disco with more tears and sadness!! (:D)

6. LOW SELF MAINTENANCE

The words ‘kilos’, ‘pimples’, ‘hair everywhere but head’, ‘tears and stains’, ‘grey’, ‘chipped nails’ etc become so regular during stressful periods. Looking after self is nowhere a priority but instead everyday becomes a contest to look more horrendous than the day before. And when one is looking like a monster, you really don’t want to meet anyone…especially if it’s a crush!! However, this is the best time to scare those who smother you with their affection and presence. Except always, it so happens that the people you pictured a romantic musical with are the ones at the door when you look like Jabba the Hutt!!

But mostly; during these times, one really hopes to have a ‘Post Stress Makeover Order’. Till that time…Damn you Mirrors!!!

7. MISSING OUT

A friend’s birthday, school reunion, concerts, dates or meeting family…. Stress and tension builds up so much that you forget or ignore these important life events. Missing out on these can take the stress levels to another high. This usually can become the breaking point and if one realizes the loss of these life events, take it as a wake up alarm to really introspect and HOP HOP HOP.

Of course later, there may be times when you sit in a group discussing the event you missed. All you would be contributing then would be some of ‘ Ah! I missed it……. Oh okay…..  Really… Oh wow….’ and some more wows and okay..!! Whereas inside you are basically just sulking and cursing everyone.

If one processes all such stressors carefully, it may be possible to realize that the thing which is causing us so much anxiety is within and if we really think back for a minute during the testing times, we can turn the situation around. As the way we think and the way we feel are closely related. If the situation isn’t in our hands…well, the least we can do for ourselves is to switch on our HOP to full power until you have your favorable situation.

It is ultimately us who can metamorphose a situation from bad to slightly better to even better to great. Whining and self pity will take the anxiety nowhere but instead make us unpleasant for everyone around….and more importantly, we like ourselves the most when are happy and content, don’t we!

So, there is nothing wrong in being stressed and anxious…it’s just human and everybody has these phases. But no matter how cliche this may sound now, I strongly believe it eventually does get better… for everyone! Till then, don’t mess up your head…focus on the better things, perhaps practice the 5Hs …or just chill out!!!(yes I know you don’t know the 5 Hs– the link here )

Did I just put on the aashirwad mode again…! Let me know 😀

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BLURRING THE BIGGER PICTURE !!!

Link for ‘India’s Daughter’, A BBC Documentary

Tolerance is an art which is exemplified best by barking dogs and the marching elephant. Banning and drifting the focus from realization to accusation is nowhere a tolerant action, but instead an exaggeration of denial, disparage and desultory. Terming Introspection as fashionable for the cocktail circuits and pinpointing the actions from a foreign land are burying women issues under the carpet as well as kicking off our own responsibilities of working towards a progressive nation.

Yes, not the best documentary but serves the purpose of generating a stir within…..Which fosters in realizing that it all boils down to education, women equality and freedom for every being for societal progress. And how  the country is ahead and also behind… The big contrast needs diminishing and everyone has to contribute…AND THIS IS ALL THAT WE HAVE TO TAKE FROM THESE 59 MINUTES..!!

Just pause the thoughts for two minutes and think if scrapping the video is what all of us are actually counting on for a safer nation!!! ..Shouldn’t the reform start with a priority action on the criminals in prison, criminals in uniform and criminals in power by the worthy in power and worthy to mediate!!!!

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EXAGGERATION OF EMOTION

DID YOU JUST CALL US AN APPLE! BULLETS RELOADED! FIRE…..!!!

It seems the actions towards making the structures sturdier and more advanced, since the ages, have restricted themselves to flyovers, technology and transport. No significant efforts towards coconut-izing ourselves….. our raisin-istic human minds (which swell up if drenched in slightest manipulations), grape-ish emotional sentiments (which can often be sour on encounters with pettiest idioms), peas-in-a-pod-ish social groups (which blindly follow the orthodox norms) or even our pomegranate-ish political representations (which involves sturdiness that prevents advancement and promotes same old governance).

Crux of all raises the same question…. Why is it that even one tiny flake of salt makes our water salty?Why do we believe in standing up for ourselves in the world by literally standing up with our curses and sticks? It is ironic though…. India, the land which is often renowned as the mecca for yoga and meditation has people who are totally ignorant of the value of calm and peace. To elaborate with examples, I might have to spend some time to choose the best ones from the day since ‘reloading the bullets’ is such an everyday fact for us.

Take the movie PK for instance, which perhaps would be the easiest example to convey the post’s aims. For me, it was a decent movie; that aims to spread the message of coming above the myths, believing in self with a dash of secularism too. Some interpreted it differently and somehow managed to observe the message of ‘diminishing one’s communal or religious identity’. So much so that these differently opinionated people believed in creating a havoc and destruction just so that their interpretation of a two and half hour Bollywood movie; (that has nursery rhyme like songs, aliens who speak Bhojpuri, embassies and media houses waiting for happy ending of a love story etc.), does not modify our nation’s morals. Well if this can happen, then watching a say Spider-man or our Indian Krrisshhh would have instilled the inspiration in me to fly and fight like krisshh or perhaps wait for a man like krissh to get married, or watching a Bhootnath Returns would have made the nation wait for a bhoot to fight elections, or Happy New Year would have had the entire nation dancing and robbing banks.  Even if the movie PK lucidly bashes a particular community… is there a dire need to be affected by a MOVIE… are our sentiments and values so loosely glued to us?

It is unfortunate to have a history of cases in India where the boiling points of agitation have been so quick to achieve, and that too, with the slightest increase in temperature. Be it the Gujarat Riots, Love Jihad Crimes, Honor Killings, Ayodhya Case, etc. all of them and so many more were actually a result of extreme sensitivities. Aren’t we evolved enough to work towards a calmer country? … aren’t we mature enough to understand the power of four L’s ‘Letting go, Loving, Laughing and Living’?… I think we all can be… we just need some humor, some sense and some inspiration in order to come face to face with our sentiments, rather than carrying them on our sleeves.

If we believe our exaggeration of emotion is cocooned in our country. Well! News flash… it is not! When I met my friends and colleagues from abroad for the first time, most of them weren’t open enough with their conversations…(you know… the religion talks, food, arrange marriages, living with parents, or even the flirt). Some of it can be attributed to the fact that nobody knew each other (which is natural)… while most of it was because nobody wanted to say or do something that would hurt my ‘Indian Sentiments’. Well, this is of course with the intention to not disrespect anyone which is fine. The problem is, why ‘We’ are tagged so sensitive in the world. And yes, I have come with my perfect assumption and that is our exaggeration of emotion. According to me, the problem is not with the world but with us.

Many of us Indians do react strongly and rather viciously at times to comments and acts, which in reality, requires nothing more than a silent chuckle. I mean it is just like, if Mahatma Gandhi would have been teased ‘Baldy Brownie’ by some British then; do you think he would have reacted with a ‘Danda’ (stick) on the British’s head… No!! I think he would have added something to the joke with a smile.

So I guess, most of us need to chill out on certain levels… remember the Joker’s quote from Batman… ‘Why so serious?’ I don’t think I would be offended if someone disrespects my language, color, religion, accent or anything… neither should anyone be. For me, all my values and ‘Indian’ elements are so deep rooted with such a firm foundation that nothing can bring it down unless I doubt myself. And this is what everyone should instill in themselves, be it anyone from any country for that matter.

But then of course, this is what I believe is reality… everyone may not agree to this or perhaps even think of reloading a virtual gun…. if such is the case, then all I got to say is….. at least i am not responding with my exaggeration of emotion..!!

And yes since this is the first post for 2015…. Happy New Year to all !!!! Cheers 🙂

DIVERSE WAYS OF EMPLOYING LOVE: INDIAN WOMAN

So, before as I was rambling about how Indian Women aren’t just black or white. It is the grey that makes us different and beautiful….. (well..the grey in hair can be debated !!). But the diversity extends on so many levels that if one tries to put on his/ her Dexter glasses and analyze the estimate of these levels, he/ she would probably end up sitting at the Himalayan Peak with one of the ‘Aghori Babas’.

A few days ago when I posted the ‘Diverse Ways of Employing Power’; I realized that there is another element… so distinctive for an Indian Woman… and that is Love. Now that I come to think of it as I write, the title that mentions, ‘Ways of Employing Love’ would have attracted an entirely different audience, I believe one should scroll down the post before you go ‘WTF’..!!

Coming back to the subject! So, just like power has its personalized meaning for every woman in India, love too doesn’t just signify romance… It is ironic though that love, which is such a positive phenomena, does not always portray what it is supposed to. While, we have beautiful shades of white in love that can make us so appealing and refreshing, we cannot just be on a loop praising us…oh the lovely us..!! In fact, the grayness and blackness of love in India can sometimes make us devastated, depressed and dreadful..!!

1. LOVE THAT TURNS AVARICE

2. LOVE THAT TURNS PHILANTHROPIST

3. LOVE THAT TURNS PASSIONATE

4. LOVE THAT TURNS APATHETIC

5. LOVE THAT TURNS REVERENTIAL

6. LOVE THAT TURNS GOD FEARING

7. LOVE THAT TURNS SURPRISING

8. LOVE THAT TURNS EGREGIOUS

9. LOVE THAT TURNS INTELLIGENT

10. LOVE THAT TURNS SLY

11. LOVE THAT SLAUGHTERS

12. LOVE THAT REINFORCES

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Defying The Regular Christmas…

Christmas is upon us… So most of us are looking forward to Santa Claus (of course!), sleigh rides, pine trees, snow, scrumptious meals, presents and cozy family time..!!!

With such diversity in the world, xmas festivities differ in different regions.. However, no matter where and how it is celebrated…. Xmas usually has two universal effects on people. One, we remember our family and the other is that Christmas brings out the inner child in us..!!!!

So here’s hoping the world enjoys a peaceful and happy xmas..!!!! Filling up the post with some not so usual Christmas pictures from India…!! 😀

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The Rickshaw Sleigh.. With Skinny Santaz!!

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The Elephantine Reindeers..!!!

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Skipping the Air Traffic…!!

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Cycling keeps the Santa in shape..!!!

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Personifying the Xmas Decoration..!!

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Banana Christmas..!! Novel isn’t..!

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‘Yum’ is the word… Even if its xmas roti, dal…!!

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Xmas Gifts..presenting what you really need..!!

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Sometimes the ‘Daily Ration’ could be the best xmas gifts for the Common man..!!

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Lost Santas… The ones celebrating the festival alone might relate..!!

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If its India…. There has to be some xmas dancing….!!!

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And again if its India… Lord Jesus can be remembered with the traditional ‘Aarti’ and ‘Chants’..!!

Another Hole in the Pot – Sonagachi, India (Born Into Brothels 2004)

TEARA 90

This credible piece created by Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman is an eye opener and could serve as the same for many like me. Sonagachi, one of the largest red light areas of the world has been constantly dumped under the carpet along with the problems of its women and children. It can be noted though that education is made available along with other facilities for sustaining life. But the problem lies in the fact that all of these facilities have not been ensured or are not advocated as mandatory for all the citizens in the area. Additionally, with the painful bureaucracy run in order to avail these facilities, the worth of the so called ‘social action’ remains questionable.

This documentary was shot in 2004 but can we believe that the situation has completely taken a turn for the better. It may have improved a notch or gone a step…

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Another Hole in the Pot – Sonagachi, India (Born Into Brothels 2004)

This credible piece created by Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman is an eye opener and could serve as the same for many like me. Sonagachi, one of the largest red light areas of the world has been constantly dumped under the carpet along with the problems of its women and children. It can be noted though that education is made available along with other facilities for sustaining life. But the problem lies in the fact that all of these facilities have not been ensured or are not advocated as mandatory for all the citizens in the area. Additionally, with the painful bureaucracy run in order to avail these facilities, the worth of the so called ‘social action’ remains questionable.

This documentary was shot in 2004 but can we believe that the situation has completely taken a turn for the better. It may have improved a notch or gone a step back. Who is checking? Who is evaluating? Who is helping?

Is Dharavi Being Forgotten in ‘The Clean India Initiative’? (Documentary: Kevin Mcleod)