PROVING INDIA’S PAISA VASOOL = LUFTHANSA (LUFT i.e. ‘ENJOYMENT’, HANSA i.e. ‘LAUGHTER’)

Well, it is true. If you get a great deal, wouldn’t you be smiling with joy! Wouldn’t you be having a moment of ‘Luft-hansa’!

But what is this great deal about?

Well, it will be so easy for Indians to relate to the great deal and the ‘Luft-hansa’ that this post talks about, once I write the magic words…!! So here you go…..

{{{{{{{{ PAISA VASOOL }}}}}}}}.

Defining ‘Paisa Vasool’ can be a bit tricky for the rest in the world since the quality is so deeply rooted in Indian sentiments that understanding it from just one example would be a mammoth task. Then why deconstruct one example when we can share some extremely common and hilarious ones to comprehend the ‘Luft-hansa’ we get from a ‘Paisa Vasool’ moment!!

And it so may happen that after reading this, you probably may want to get your own ‘Luft-hansa’. If this happens then today may be your lucky day as the post ends with some quick tips to start the ‘Paisa Vasool’ Beginner Training!!!! Isn’t this great? (“Yeah, right!”)

Before the examples make you go LOL (“Laughter Of Luft-hansa”), it is perhaps necessary to understand that ‘Paisa Vasool’ doesn’t necessarily mean Miserly or Stingy, or it isn’t just a middle class man’s ideology. It is in fact, an Indian trait that encourages us to achieve more from little. But this is so regular for us; that sometimes, we become too modest to notice it.

It’s like having a ‘Paisa Vasool’ gene in our system that we absolutely cannot do without.

Indians may not need it; but the gene is active throughout.

(” Noticed the unintentional rhyme… No? … Okay!”).

So the whole ‘Paisa Vasool’ attribute is like any other trait which are exclusive to natives and perhaps develop when we grow up with other natives of the same country. Now, every country has its own unique attributes. For instance; British may be known for their humor, Americans for their individualism, Chinese for their modesty. By the same rule, we, Indians have our own unique qualities. We are adjusting, content, hard workers, full of love and if we go on to the funnier side… we are known for our bargaining, jugaad (“help me with its English terminology!”) and ‘Paisa Vasool’ fixation. If we analyze, they are all set on our constant struggle to optimize more from less…achieving much more from fewer opportunities!!! This Indian attribute aims on living, yes; but also sustaining! Every one of us are effortlessly building a store for future. Okay yes, sometimes we do go overboard with the Paisa Vasool philosophy, but hey! Nothing could be more fun and us than wearing airy holey vests in summer or say squeezing in with five others and one special one in a car or using old clothes as table wipes or not having a ‘how the hell am I going to pay for this’ stress while travelling with fifty guests for a wedding… yes you read it right… At the Lufthansa premium rates that’s possible, check out the link here : Lufthansa Premium Economy

There are countless other examples. Let us begin with the most fun;

1. The Dhaniya Mirchi Saga – An opportunity to buy vegetables is not an opportunity to buy coriander and chillies. These are like the ‘Mandi’ or market air we get for free when we are sniffing and selecting our veggies. Late mornings or early evenings… Every day… In every neighborhood of the country, ladies scramble out in their night gowns to buy vegetables… Notice the ‘Luft-hansa’ from their ‘Paisa Vasool’ Dance when they get their free coriander and chillies.

2. The Bored Teeth: There are some days in a month when the Indian teeth look so bored and moody that they force us to go to the market to get new teeth products… just so they are cheered up.  This usually happens when the teeth see us folding a toothpaste tube up to the thumb length or when they know they will be cleaned with a toothbrush that has a clear footpath between the sloping bristles.  The teeth literally shout out to let go of the ‘Paisa Vasool’ addiction which is when we buy a new toothpaste or a new tooth brush; just to charge them up. And when buying, our eyes are usually set on the paste that has a free brush or that has a 20% extra paste or 10 rupees off or our all time favorite ‘Buy one get one free’ sticker on it.

3. Too Loved to Ever be Replaced: For expensive purchases, our abilities to make every penny worth are much more visible. Most of us in our Indian houses may have come across tables with three intact wooden legs and the fourth leg with a cardboard foot, or old oven that turns into a cabinet for rarely used or perhaps even unknown things, the struggling television remote with cello tape around the battery area and so on.  It gets really difficult to say goodbye to these items. For years, we stick to the option of ‘fixing these temporarily’. And all the times during those years; when the items are temporarily re-fixed, we feel pride in the fact that the purchase is still going strong and this gives us our ‘Paisa Vasool Luft-hansa’.

4. The Vessel Reruns: Of all the things that we can think of buying, kitchen vessels can be understood as the most ‘Paisa Vasool’ purchase. It doesn’t break, can be reused for years and that too for a variety of things. Be it the ‘Jam Jars’ that turn into ‘Spice Jars’, ‘Cooking Vessels’ that are renamed as ‘Fruit Baskets’, ‘Water Bottles that become ‘Oil Bottles’, ‘Broken Cups’ that are created into ‘Pencil Stands’, etc. So you see, we have been practicing the art of ‘Recycle and Reuse’ since a very long time. The difference is just that we refer to the policy as the ‘Paisa Vasool’ technique in India.

5. The Food Connection:  This is where the ‘Paisa Vasool’ trait enables us to bond and create memories. One packet of noodles would be a complete ‘Paisa Vasool’ purchase if it is shared with our roommates, friends and partners. In such a case; the talks, laughter and life long memories are way more valuable than the quantity. Buying an expensive chocolate to dissolve a fight or buying rice which is burnt in the first cooking trial…. all such purchases give us way more ‘Luft-hansa’ than the rest of the ‘Paisa Vasool’ experiences.

6. We Love Waste: What is waste? Something is waste only if it comes out of the body, has a smell or has fungus growing on it. Otherwise, it is not waste. It is just taking a rebirth to become something else. Just like the reuse and recycle policy for our vessels, we have the abilities to make every non living object ‘Paisa Vasool’ by juicing out various uses from it. It can be the orange peels which are dried and used for face mask, left over ‘dal’ which is stuffed into breakfast ‘paranthas’, old eye pencils which are used to cover grey hair, pencil shavings to create art, old ‘sarees’ stitched as suits, old bed sheets used as table covers, chocolate boxes converted into jewellery box…..and the list is endless! So in a way, we see waste as potential raw material. And the moment we see it, the waste provides us with our ‘Paisa Vasool Luft-hansa’.

So whether it is Subramanyam Swami, Shaheen Khan, Shantanu Bose, Dev Patel, Pinky Singh, Jenny D’souza, Sachin Khede, Chung Cha, Mathurs, Iyers, Chaddhas, Chakrabortys, Bottlewalas, Bijlanis, Jains, Joshis, Guptas and Sharmas… Or whoever you may come across in this country, this post gives you a guarantee that you will find all of them with their own ‘Paisa Vasool’ memories…. And they all would be close to heart, real and full of joy…no matter how fancy their living is. Of the plethora qualities that binds us Indians; this ability to fully extract pleasures from every situation, every purchase, every state certainly defines the people we are… happy, intelligent and positive!

Not an Indian or perhaps just missed out on the ‘Paisa Vasool’ opportunities?

Well then fear not! Some quick steps can surely certify you as a beginner and you can progress from there!

Enjoy Torn Shirts/ Vests/ Socks

Do not throw. Wear it till it covers at least the essential 47% of the body. However, refrain yourself from going out in these as chances of people throwing garbage at you will increase with increase in exposed areas of body. Don’t wear these when you have guests over, especially if you have chests like the 90’s Akshay Kumar or Anil Kapoor. Chances of decreasing eye contact and increasing physical distance may be present with the increase in exposed areas of body. However if the clothes surpass the 47% mark, it is the time to… Not throw but to appoint it as the new ‘clean-master’ for your floors and furniture. Use it… Wash it… Reuse it… Continue this till you have a horizontal piece of cloth with loose threads.

Play with the Torn Purses

Say hello to the everyday games of ‘Where did my thing go?’ Just put your hand in the purse, into the torn corner, ramble your fingers inside to find the pennies, lipstick and receipts…that’s it…! Isn’t the game easy? So now every time when you are in a hurry and you need something, this game will surely give you that extra kick of vigor.

Every Store has Your Free Stuff

Memorize the fact. Be shameless to look for the sales, discounts and assured free gifts. It can be anything from buying a three+1 free soap pack, free ‘nada’ or thread with petticoat, extra onions in a restaurant, free accessories with a car… basically anywhere where you can spend your money. It is almost like an unsaid birth right to wheedle out the optimum benefits from a purchase.

Raid Your House Waste

As mentioned before, foresee the waste as promising resources. Simple steps like using old toothbrushes for glass cleaning, shoe cases for jewellery boxes, old newspapers for covering notebooks etc. will give you a little insight into the whole ‘Paisa Vasool’ matter. Forget modern art, this is where you need to focus your creativity on.

Travellers Extraction

Our wishes and hopes increase with increase in expenditure. Travelling and holidaying brings along with it a series of expenses like travel costs, hotel costs, food costs, visa costs, shopping expenses and the likes. Even after planning a budget, we have a tendency to go overboard at most times. And when its international travel, we crave for free services like, budget flights, lowest prices at the Duty Free markets, good accommodation, good meals etc. Many times the struggle is real; especially when optimizing from a budget hotel or airline.  We often focus more on the hotel accommodation for the holiday and compromise with the choice of airline. But the compromise surely kicks back during the long hours of travel when the seats are uncomfortable; legs are squashed, food stinks and the overall service is bad. Imagine this on a work trip!! This is the time when we realize that the ‘Paisa Vasool’ ability has also gone away for a holiday. To avoid all of this, our ‘Paisa Vasool’ travel extraction can be made possible only when you pay a budget cost and you receive a flying experience so surreal that you feel like a holiday in the flight itself. But is that possible? Well yes… We can experience the ‘Paisa Vasool Luft-hansa’ when we fly in Lufthansa. It surely gives us a complete value for money experience and the assurance that at least when we are flying, our ‘Paisa Vasool’ desires are taken care of. For instance, when you fly #LufthansaPremiumEconomy ; you will never have to ask the person sitting in front of you to adjust his seat or feel the kicks and bumps from the person seated behind you as you get your own space to rest all your body parts. Or if you have a presentation deadline and you need to finish the last slides, you will not have to worry about the falling files and slanting laptops as you will have your own personal foldable table to work on. Besides catering to our most prominent needs for more space, quality food, entertainment and overall comfort; what sets it apart from the rest is its vision to provide an experience worth every buck. It takes care of the hard money we spend on them. And when we are treated with care, we feel content… we fly high on ‘Paisa Vasool Lufthansa’.

So the above steps will surely give you a head start to build and enhance your ‘Paisa Vasool’ abilities but remember this is just Part 1 of the training… If you believe you have some expert lessons with you, do share in the comments section below and make this post a ‘Paisa Vasool’ offer for all readers!!!

EXAGGERATION OF EMOTION

DID YOU JUST CALL US AN APPLE! BULLETS RELOADED! FIRE…..!!!

It seems the actions towards making the structures sturdier and more advanced, since the ages, have restricted themselves to flyovers, technology and transport. No significant efforts towards coconut-izing ourselves….. our raisin-istic human minds (which swell up if drenched in slightest manipulations), grape-ish emotional sentiments (which can often be sour on encounters with pettiest idioms), peas-in-a-pod-ish social groups (which blindly follow the orthodox norms) or even our pomegranate-ish political representations (which involves sturdiness that prevents advancement and promotes same old governance).

Crux of all raises the same question…. Why is it that even one tiny flake of salt makes our water salty?Why do we believe in standing up for ourselves in the world by literally standing up with our curses and sticks? It is ironic though…. India, the land which is often renowned as the mecca for yoga and meditation has people who are totally ignorant of the value of calm and peace. To elaborate with examples, I might have to spend some time to choose the best ones from the day since ‘reloading the bullets’ is such an everyday fact for us.

Take the movie PK for instance, which perhaps would be the easiest example to convey the post’s aims. For me, it was a decent movie; that aims to spread the message of coming above the myths, believing in self with a dash of secularism too. Some interpreted it differently and somehow managed to observe the message of ‘diminishing one’s communal or religious identity’. So much so that these differently opinionated people believed in creating a havoc and destruction just so that their interpretation of a two and half hour Bollywood movie; (that has nursery rhyme like songs, aliens who speak Bhojpuri, embassies and media houses waiting for happy ending of a love story etc.), does not modify our nation’s morals. Well if this can happen, then watching a say Spider-man or our Indian Krrisshhh would have instilled the inspiration in me to fly and fight like krisshh or perhaps wait for a man like krissh to get married, or watching a Bhootnath Returns would have made the nation wait for a bhoot to fight elections, or Happy New Year would have had the entire nation dancing and robbing banks.  Even if the movie PK lucidly bashes a particular community… is there a dire need to be affected by a MOVIE… are our sentiments and values so loosely glued to us?

It is unfortunate to have a history of cases in India where the boiling points of agitation have been so quick to achieve, and that too, with the slightest increase in temperature. Be it the Gujarat Riots, Love Jihad Crimes, Honor Killings, Ayodhya Case, etc. all of them and so many more were actually a result of extreme sensitivities. Aren’t we evolved enough to work towards a calmer country? … aren’t we mature enough to understand the power of four L’s ‘Letting go, Loving, Laughing and Living’?… I think we all can be… we just need some humor, some sense and some inspiration in order to come face to face with our sentiments, rather than carrying them on our sleeves.

If we believe our exaggeration of emotion is cocooned in our country. Well! News flash… it is not! When I met my friends and colleagues from abroad for the first time, most of them weren’t open enough with their conversations…(you know… the religion talks, food, arrange marriages, living with parents, or even the flirt). Some of it can be attributed to the fact that nobody knew each other (which is natural)… while most of it was because nobody wanted to say or do something that would hurt my ‘Indian Sentiments’. Well, this is of course with the intention to not disrespect anyone which is fine. The problem is, why ‘We’ are tagged so sensitive in the world. And yes, I have come with my perfect assumption and that is our exaggeration of emotion. According to me, the problem is not with the world but with us.

Many of us Indians do react strongly and rather viciously at times to comments and acts, which in reality, requires nothing more than a silent chuckle. I mean it is just like, if Mahatma Gandhi would have been teased ‘Baldy Brownie’ by some British then; do you think he would have reacted with a ‘Danda’ (stick) on the British’s head… No!! I think he would have added something to the joke with a smile.

So I guess, most of us need to chill out on certain levels… remember the Joker’s quote from Batman… ‘Why so serious?’ I don’t think I would be offended if someone disrespects my language, color, religion, accent or anything… neither should anyone be. For me, all my values and ‘Indian’ elements are so deep rooted with such a firm foundation that nothing can bring it down unless I doubt myself. And this is what everyone should instill in themselves, be it anyone from any country for that matter.

But then of course, this is what I believe is reality… everyone may not agree to this or perhaps even think of reloading a virtual gun…. if such is the case, then all I got to say is….. at least i am not responding with my exaggeration of emotion..!!

And yes since this is the first post for 2015…. Happy New Year to all !!!! Cheers 🙂